Caviar! This is a C-word we do love, and we don’t care a jot about immunisation against indulgences during a bad time. The salty gold from fine fish whets the appetite for something especially superb. Meaning: Everything! Now! For two!
Caviar begins as pristine roe from various types of sturgeon, particularly from the Black and Caspian Seas. The black gold of haute cuisine can in fact come in an array of colours. The salty product from the especially small sterlet and the exceptionally large beluga will often be found at similar prices. Since 2014, no more fish have had to die for this. Variety is the spice of life: sampling a selection of these tiny globules will cure boredom better than any homeopathic remedy. Gourmets swear by the delicate eggs and also use the term caviar to refer to char, pike and salmon roe. Whether your caviar comes from the ocean or the river, the waves of exquisite enjoyment are sure to make you and your high class escorts think of champagne. And plenty of it – with no thoughts of tomorrow! And when things start to tingle under the table: off to sea we go!
CAVIAR IN THE KALEIDOSCOPE
What is the proper way for us to enjoy these tiny orbs en masse? With champagne! In small groups! And where to start, when there are so many to choose from? It helps to be wild here, or to paraphrase Oscar Wilde: Life is too short for fake caviar, so only go for the best, served immediately. This credo is therefore a hallelujah for beluga:
1. This exceptionally mild natural product nestles gently and elegantly on the dish. Grey in colour yet colourful in taste, Beluga enthrals with its velvety coat. This caviar, which is the largest by diameter, signals its nobility with the regal blue of its container lid.
2. A little less known, probably because of its significantly harder shell, Osetra comes from the Russian sturgeon (also known as the diamond sturgeon). Of all the types of caviar, this is the only one with a nutty aroma. Somewhere between soft black, greyish silver and a touch of gold, the colour of Osetra is a fine adornment to any table.
3. Would you like more gold? It certainly doesn’t get cheaper by the dozen: there are 12 kilograms of Albino Osetra a year. This glimmering golden caviar, which comes from sturgeon with a genetic disorder, is one of the most expensive foods on the planet.
4. Truly expensive yet seriously delectable, Almas caviar lures the tongue of sinful greed. After tasting it, you’ll never want to go without it again. This rare delicacy from the Caspian Sea originates from very old creatures, sometimes over eight decades. Pure decadence!
The Shah of Persia also held this opinion, and used to monitor its exclusivity with an addicted zeal, convinced that he alone should be able to enjoy the particularly pale speciality. Even today only a few establishments offer this noble variety, for around 30 euros per gram. It comes from the Iranian white whale sturgeon, ideally from specimens that are more than 100 years old. Some branches of Caviar House & Prunier offer the sophisticated snack. The elegant box made of 24-carat gold leaf is of little consequence.
5. In the cult of caviar, gourmets on a mission will sing the praises of wild sturgeon. For some, Sevruga is the only truth. The creamy roe of the smallest caviar-producing sturgeon in the wild has a particularly pleasing taste. Less fanatical connoisseurs also appreciate the fetish of the wild as a luxury, but miss size. In fact, the very small bead rolls off nicely, tempting you to enjoy your accompanying drinks at the same time. Its thin wisp of an outer layer also makes Sevruga very digestible.
CAVIAR, DONE CORRECTLY
The nouveau riche eat the tiny pearls with silver spoons for sugar cubes. Ouch! Mother of pearl, or even horn in dire need, are the only options that offer both style and function: They are also animal products and are neutral in taste.
Jokers use plastic. While this choice will not affect the taste of caviar, it does offend its natural and rare character. As such, metals are also out of the question. Lovers of precious metals may not see the contradiction here. Then gold is the only other option, because silver oxidises much too rapidly and adulterates the aromas.
Caviar is best enjoyed from a bowl made of plain glass or porcelain. With engraving or embellishment, if you so choose. In any case, those vessels should rest on a good quantity of ice, so the little treasures stay wonderfully cold. The creeping warmth of the tongue will then gradually unfold the nuances of the flavours. This experience is individual for each type of caviar.
Would you prefer to start the show with a bang? Then put some caviar on the back of your high class escort‘s hand. From there, after a few seconds, you will both taste the fully developed bouquet of aromas simultaneously. The tongue will crush the pearls on the palate. Close your eyes and take off!
Caviar purists don’t shy away from savouring their favourite variety straight from the can without any distractions. This is the best way to enjoy it anyway: as an edible luxury! Top class chefs use it to refine special dishes, from sushi to filet. At the other end of the spectrum, the connoisseur will use it to elevate simple dishes, such as those with potatoes or eggs. Who wants to suffer?
In fact, caviar suits any occasion and, like every pleasure, it’s an occasion in and of itself. So we live with caviar now, and have always lived with caviar. The tiny yet enormously enticing eggs are considered to be one of the oldest lures of the tongue. Truffles, oysters and fine pralines are youngsters by comparison: caviar remains a star at every festivity and makes every moment a party, whether enjoyed alone on the beach under the stars, in a jet to Hawaii, or in a limo driving through Tokyo.
With its subtle, salty notes, the roe of some fish seduced the ancient Greeks while they roasted game. Many a tsar of Russia enjoyed caviar on a slice of toast. The irony of using those little eggs to rarefy a gigantic chicken egg has established itself in several regions of Germany. The fact that a gram of decorative beluga costs around five euros makes it a case of the tail wagging the dog.
The quality of caviar is based on size, age and brightness, as well as the taste of fish: the higher, the dearer. Smaller bead diameters mean a lower price, leading to an economical garnish of fine dishes. For example, fine meat can be seasoned with fine bead caviar. Gourmets and purists, on the other hand, want their caviar large and round, which is also within reach. So enjoy these beautiful facets of life in all their guises. Your high class escorts will see things the same way. Bon appétit!
Ice cold caviar is one of those sources of warm feelings in life: a temperature of exactly zero degrees Celsius is required for freshness. This means the luxury item can be enjoyed for two months. Colder doesn’t mean better, because the visual impression and aromas then suffer massively. Would you like to surprise your high class escorts with eggs in private? Then get a can of fine caviar from the refrigerator and put it on ice at least 20 minutes before your time together. After cheeky flirting, the temperature will then be an ideal 12 degrees. A nice even dozen!
Connoisseurs will only allow mild aromas and soft colours to accompany their caviar. A little tender salmon or fine sour cream is best here. Banal toast, but thin, or even pancakes, not too thick, form a great base.
Of course, there is no fooling around with sacred standards: the screeching yellow of a lemon with its sour bite through the delicate nape of the caviar is entirely off the cards! Do you want to be really naughty? Then go ahead with meat, but only beef. Try some mild tartare or very tender roast beef. Mustard? Sorry, bad joke! Your good health is worth paying for. Caviar is recommended for this reason alone. Mineral salts and proteins form a third of its content. It also contains iodine, iron and calcium, as well as A, B and D vitamins. Yes please! And you won’t get fat from it either, with its moderate 250 kcal per 100 grams. It will cause a drop in your bank account, though.
Make sure to stay liquid, so the eggs can keep swimming! The best accompaniment is a champagne on the dry side, preferably extra-sec. A Roederer Crystal or Dom Pérignon is an excellent choice! Or, in a pinch, a better white wine will do. The rock star opts for a vodka on ice, pure and unadulterated. It all depends on your mood. Investing in fishy business is a cheeky way of securing cash flow: just read Forbes.